caught me staring

a breeze catches a leaf
you follow it as it blows along
it seems to dance for you
you watch it dip then dive
so simple
an unexpected pleasure

I'll race you to the bottom of your glass

A straight line begins to zig zag
you drink the next one neet
thinking it will last longer
you don't even taste it
double vision stings you
in and out, you forget your steps
a night never meant to be remembered

"MTV what have you done to me?"

The TV flickers on
bombarded by the media
the youth of today
corporate slaves
to insult our intellegience
to remove our souls
steal our creativity
all in a days work
I'll give them my youth
before I give them my
ambition



The Smiths -there is a light and it never goes out
stand out lyrics "take me out tonight, take me anywhere I don't care"

turn it off.. live for attention not love

The city is asleep
but I am not
stuck in the depths of my own thought
round and round in circles of old memories
keeps my head spinning like a top
trapped in promises never kept
stuck on a heart that didn't beat
caught in the condition of unconditional
keeps this restless mind awake

Elliott Smith- go by 
stand out lyrics "Someone's in the way
Pretty words and inside slurs
All the things they have to say
To perform the work that they've rehearsed. It's a waste of time
I put it behind me. Once and for all
And let the hype decline
If the problem wasn't mine
Go by"

"happyness is a warm gun"

Bombs break homes
send people away
torn apart
uprooted
life falls away
war torn city
here to stay
build upon the debris
live another day

M.I.A. born free stand our lyrics
"you could try to find ways to be happier, you might end up somewhere in Ethiopia. You can think big with your ideas. You ain't never gonna find Utopia"

johnston st

asleep on the porch
stretched out on the lawn
a lazy day
slept away
stretched out on your lap

"no one saw that the skin on my shoulders was golden"

Indiana summer town
beats heat on our backs
it wears you down
steals your strength
the moon creeps it's way up
lifting the weak from our bodies
into the night we play
dancing the sun up
work the heat away



Sandro Perri Wolfman Stand out lyric" Today I saw you big as the ocean, yesterday I was sure I'd forgotten how to swim"

double vision

Mirrored images reflect off eachother
repetition repetition repetition
the image bounces back reflects off each other
smaller and smaller
a new depth

Pilate into your hideout stand out lyrics "Gray shadows and white meadows, a bitter snow is falling
My legs fail me, the ground hails me, distant lights are calling"

"And I'm content, I'm content, I'm content to be quiet"

Don't close your eyes
let the light hit them
let me wonder
who you are
and where you'll take me

speed up sleep get some rest

spawned from a dream
a math equation
numbers and figures
complex
unsolvable
creation in a dream

scratching an ich through broken glass

a car alarm
broken glass
the clapping of feet speeds up in rhythm
the humming of sirens
blending of red and blue
blinking and bouncing in the night
over fences
under a car
breathless
pounding
his next fix

"a hierarchy of different behaviour"

Feynman on curiosity.

"the morality molecule"

Trust, morality, and oxytocin

"all these faces me nothing to me"

I need to escape from ordinary life
familiarity knocks me to my knees
provoking me to make a difference
with time standing still I make my move
but it was all a dream
for something that never took place
the side effects are unforgettable

 Animal Collective We Tigers
Stand out lyric "I changed all your words but my poltergeist concurs that words aren't even necessary right now."

forgive? forget? fact? or fiction?

I wish I could see a purpose in all of this, that I have been put through this past year to learn something, become stronger or wiser.. anything, but what I've learnt I don't care to mention.

To see the dark side of someone that brought you so much light is often confusing. Its almost as if you are in a very bright room when the lights go out, you see those circles or spots until your rub your eyes. Its was similar for me when I got blinded by her light, once I saw the dark side that resides in her my vision became blurred and I had trouble keeping my focus on anything like I was sleep walking through this previous year, I had so much trouble making out and understanding this person sleeping beside me.

Its impossible for me to imagine this person not in my life but at the same time, its impossible for me to imagine how that person was able to be so horrible to me for so long without any remorse.

I feel like I am stuck on a small toy train that some child is in control of, doing circles of the last 5 years of this my life, this child can stop at any point on this fixed track and it will totally change my perspective of what I want to do, but in the end when it really comes down to it, the remainder is always the same, and unforgettable mistake forge and imprinted in my head heart and soul.

I feel like I am trying to give up a drug, sometimes it's is the best thing ever, sometimes I do it even though I know I shouldn't, sometimes I regret doing it, even right before its standing there in front of me, then I let it wash over me with a smile, and then sometimes I yearn for it, like in this very moment.

It's this on going relentless force like two magnets, even though we are far apart there is always the slightest pull, and the closer we get the stronger the current gets, the odd thing is sometimes the current is in reverse and I can feel it pushing on me, forcing me to back away and feel uncomfortable. I try and try to work it out in my head, how it happened, but its as useless as debating religion, things just are the way they are and an attempt to change that, is a mountain I am to tired to climb.

"Yesterday was dramatic today is Okay"

"....The existential deliberation of all human emotion... to they extent of empathy for a stone finding shells that dissipate into air and slide between your fingers until you feel the breeze loneliness brings you for being shallow..

I know nothing you say to the skolard "wise prophet"
nowing that you know nothings is hte doorway to knowing everything. Thinking you know everything is a fat wet sponge. False belief is full and unharvestable, but honesty is an empty glass. I sit on a table pretentious and waiting"


Exert from my journal while living in Australia, written by Tegan Dayne 15-6-04

Dirty Beaches The lord knows best
stand lot lyric "The lord knows best When it comes to you And you know well that I Don't give a damn about anything but you."

First night Cargo

We did the usual rock out in our flat, "shotgun racings" music too loud and laughs all around. We got to the bar(cargo), and the bouncer notified Bruce that I would not be getting into the bar. (no collared shirt, not dressy enough trainers.) Lindsey convinced me to put on her velvet jacket and I decided to try my luck getting in. The bouncer pulled Bruce aside and asked him if he thought he wasn't important enough to give me the msg to me, then came up to me and ask if I was fucking kidding him. After all of this he extended his hand to me and we had a huge dance session, while a gentleman free styled with his saxophone over a techno beat, we danced the night away and lived on 10$ jugs. had a few jack and cokes. We all got so hammered we lost track of time. We eventually got to central walking from the harbour after town hall was closed, we just missed the train and we were stuck in the subway until morning. that's when the comedy unfolded.

Lindsey passed out in the most uncomfortable position and there was this very drunk guy walking the wrong way down the escalator, on just the bottom steps. The best part was that he was stumbling and had this weird smirk on his face, as entertaining as this was we got bored of watching him. That's when we heard a huge noise. SMACK! we all turned to look and he had falling forward with one foot on each step. and he didn't move the whole way up. Just when we where about to get up to see if he was okay, he slid down the metal railing of the escalator and walked passed us. We waited for morning and made our way to bed with no money in our wallets.

exert from my journal while living in Australia

Strokes with Lindsey

Lindsay and I were playing our regular game of Su-Sum-Ci, drinking away at a bottle of
passion pop, as we causally made our way to the junction(bondi) we were listening to the strokes and dancing and laughing. I had one ear phone in and she of course the other. It was good to see her appreciate the strokes as much as I did. WE both laughed the more intoxicated we got. We didn't finish the wine in time so we sat on the ledge near the metro and continued on with our game, while people walked by and laughing or with a smile on their face, it was nice to see people feeding off our energy.

exert from my journal while living in Australia.

we'll meet up in our dreams

Filled up on dreams
imagination on auto pilot
effortless creation
waking erases the story
time steals your memory
remembering to forget

"I'm like this and you're like this. We tigers we tigers woop!"

On our backs
the room breaths cold
reflect on our past
we push poison out our lungs
watch the smoke occupy space
buried in my nook
your soft voice fills me with warmth
a strange relationship
works because you are my mirror
reflecting off each other
things never change

cop-out

Hanging from a tree
a lost mans last hope
escape to endless slumber
or trapped in a dream?
you'll only find out
when it's to late
a pulled trigger
stealing the future
from a unknown memory

fear remains sorrow

Rest assured I found her
half buried in snow
two tracks in
one track out
her father by the fire
drinking to forget

"give us this day our daily bread"

Fossils shape the path of evolution
a sequence following change
anatomy pushes forward
science prevails

repeating in my head

A echo bounces and reflects
the repeating of words
dissipates
bleeds into the walls
spoken word absorbed